LIFE AFTER......

I don’t know what my life has come to… it’s like being lost in foggy woods… I can only see the road ahead… a few feet maybe... everything beyond is obscured… don’t know what to look forward to… It’s been a pretty roller coaster life till this moment… made some really wonderful friends on the way… and hopefully some long lasting beautiful relationships… Didi for some… Bhabhi for others… Chechi for few others… Mom for couple of them… Roomie (not to mention the Best ;)) for another… I pray these do last… feels nice to know that you are a Role model for some… Inspiration for others… Admiration for other few… hope I live up to their expectations… and I don’t want to forget anyone of them till I rest my eyes forever… and they not to forget me after that…

There is a gaping hollow somewhere after losing the two most important and perhaps the only men in my life… now it’s a women’s world for me…

After 3 years met the man who meant something to me at one point in life… as was the case when ‘Angel’ called me after a pause of more than a year… amazing how life’s wounds mend themselves… not sure about the way I feel about them now… just like a season they came… changing life’s landscape… coloring them and leaving behind the chill iciness of winter… or the dark downpour of monsoon… until another season came along and brought spring… Now with father and sunshine gone… both bade farewell without words… there were no words spoken… just assumptions of the heart… I was thrown again into the tempest of life… I had drained all my sorrows and tears for a quarter of a century and when the time came… there were none left… If only they cared to stay around to let me speak my heart… till I could tell them what they meant to me… my life… I am not sure how long will it be before these wounds will heal… if they do… felt like being in the eye of cyclone… it’s now subsided… the heart is numb… everything around is shattered… my hopes… my dreams… my goal… my strength… and I am aimless… surviving each day as it comes… a refugee… wearing a mask for the world that does not know me…

I realize though that I am the light and hope to the other people surviving… but I am still searching for my light, my hope and my way… I am still stumbling on a path unknown but lighted by few good souls I met on this long journey called Life… and I just want to tell those souls I would not have survived without you fire-flies and sun-beams… THANK YOU… I know beyond that haze in the woods lies ahead a road… difficult… trying… but a life which will be beautiful… till then kindly LEAD THE WAY…